Do you think I'm joking?

I don't write words down on paper and scream them.

I take a deep part of my heart, that very few have seen and express it in the most passionate way I possibly can. I cannot compromise. I cannot forsake my very heart. I will not compromise.

I write songs that tell stories about myself. Stories that I'd be horrified to tell someone face to face. I'm even putting myself in a vulnerable place writing a song about it. I write about secret things: the very things that weigh on my heart.

What am I rambling about? WHAT!


I'm talking about certain song that an alleged band that I am supposedly in is writing. Nate came up with some stuff. The arrangement was for him to show us and the guys would learn it as well as contribute/change it so that it would become a collective effort. My job is to supply lyrics. (Although this may not seem like much, it is a huge responsibility and a challenge.) Now, the problem is that some "people" want the name to be completely non sequitur, in other words it has no meaning connecting it to the song. For me, that is unacceptable. I cannot allow the subject matter for the lyrics I had been toying with to be belittled by such a title. Believe me, this is a song I've been scared to write since day one. I believed that after the success of the last song we wrote, in addition to my own personal growth, that now was the time to face this monster head on. I find myself unable to compromise. It's either my lyrics with my name, or the other name and some generic lyrics I'd probably just pull out of my butt.

nox intempesta

Today we finally finished our new song, nox intempesta. Still needs to be hammered out. But it's done from begining to end. Here is the final revision of the lyrics I posted earlier. Enjoy.

nox intempesta

Lend me Your strength
Tear down these walls
Destroy Your enemy (Judges 16:28)
Crush their jaw
Break their teeth
Deliver me from the wicked (Psalm 3:7)

Lord my God, I call to you
For strength to offer: my sacrifice
To honor them: to honor You
Humble my heart: prostrate my body
In this dark hour grant me strength to persevere
To persevere
Awake within me the warrior in my heart

No one can stop me
My strength is not my own
It’s from the One who gives me life
The Lord God Almighty

Tonight!
In the dead of the night
I will make my stand
I will not let you continue
This perversion will end
My God will strike you down
Before Him you cannot stand
Tonight you fall

I will stand and fight
For once I will be a man

I will stand and fight…